Miserable
by SummerOfFreedom
Summary: Sophie James only wished for a normal life. But what she got, was far from it. Her life is falling apart, getting worse by the second. She needs to find a way to survive. I can't write a very good summary, please R&R.
1. Only The Beggining

_**A/N This is my first fic, so please don't flame, but constructive criticism is more than welcome. This is not a one-shot. I still need a beta, if anyone would like to be my beta, please contact me. Even if all I get is bad reviews, I will still continue writing. **_

_**Disclaimer- I don't own anything except the plot, Sophie, Tasha, and Sophie's Mother.**_

_**POV- Sophie James**_

**_5th Year_**

_**Gryffindor**_

_I looked outside, watching the rain pound down on the Common Room windows, refusing to let up. The weather reflected exactly how I felt. Miserable. There was no other word for it, in fact miserable was kind of an understatement. Last year I was on top of the world, but now I feel that I have nothing left at all._

It was the night before my birthday. Although I was not talking, laughing, or even smiling, I was happier than I had been for a long time. Tomorrow my best friend, Tasha would be coming to visit me.

I had known her since 1st year. We had met while on the Hogwarts Express. Since then, we have been best friends. When my mother died when I was 12, my father ran away to America. Tasha was the closest thing I had to family. A year later, she found out that she was moving and she would be attending Beauxbatons. We were both heartbroken, but we promised to keep in touch. We owled each other at least once a week. We never missed each other's birthdays.

She would be arriving by floo powder. I couldn't wait to see her.

I was sitting by the fire, attempting to make a dent in my homework, when I saw something that made me stop. No one was laughing or joking around, no one was yelling or making a commotion. Something was wrong, I could feel it. People were talking in whispers, huddled together.

The portrait of the Fat Lady opened, and in stepped Professor Dumbledore. He did not look angry, yet the twinkle in his eyes was gone. He looked older than ever. The moment he stepped into the common room, it went quiet. The silence pressed against your ears, the tension was palpable. Nobody spoke for a while, everyone just stood there staring at Professor Dumbledore. And Professor Dumbledore stared, at me. Then, with a great sigh, Professor Dumbledore said, "Ms. James, would you come with me?"

I just sat there for a moment, willing myself to get up. I didn't know why, but I didn't want to find out what Professor Dumbledore had to say. After another moment of eerie silence, Professor Dumbledore said, "Ms. James?" It seemed to take all of my strength and will power to get up and walk to Professor Dumbledore.

I followed Professor Dumbledore out of the portrait. We walked down the corridors in silence, our footsteps echoing off the walls. When we reached the stone gargoyle, Professor Dumbledore merely waved his hand, without giving the password. None the less, the gargoyle jumped aside, revealing the moving staircase that led to his office.

I stepped into the office after Professor Dumbledore, he told me to have a seat. I chose an armchair farthest from Dumbledore's desk and closest to the fire. Professor Dumbledore did not sit down, but paced around the room. There was silence for a moment, then Professor Dumbledore said, "There has been an accident." He did not have to say any more. I knew what this meant. I could see the sadness in his clear blue eyes. My best friend was dead.

For a moment nothing happened. I watched the fire make dancing shadows on the wall. It was a while before it finally sank in. I would never be able to see her again. I would never hear her voice or her laugh that seemed to light the whole room. I used to live for the moments that I got to see her. But now there was no reason to live, I would never be happy again.

My heart was beating faster and faster, the room was spinning, I felt sick, I wanted to scream, and then everything went black.

When I opened my eyes, all I saw was a blinding, bright light. I snapped my eyes shut. The next time I opened my eyes, the light was not so bright. I looked around and saw that I was in the Hospital Wing. _It must have been a dream, _I thought.

But when Professor Dumbledore entered and I saw the look in his eyes, I knew it couldn't have been any more real. "How are you feeling? Madam Pomfrey says that you are just in shock." Professor Dumbledore said quietly. "I-I-I'm-f-fine," I managed to stammer. This, of course, was a total lie. I was not fine. I was shaking, my head ached, I wanted to do something. Cry, scream, run and never look back.

"You are probably wondering why I care so much about you. Why I told you the news personally, why I am even here now. The truth is, I was a friend of your mother's. I promised her that if anything happened to her, that I would take care of you. I have watched you, from the moment you set foot inside this castle," Professor Dumbledore said, without looking up. "You have a talent for magic. I have no doubt that if you put your troubles behind you, that you will grow to be a great witch. I know it is not easy, you have been though a lot more than most witches your age, but you must try to move on, " he continued.

"How do I know that you are special? I have watched you over the years. When you do magic, a light flares up inside of you. I can see it in your eyes. The same thing happens only two other times. When you are with Tasha and when you dance." Professor Dumbledore stated.

My head snapped up. How did he knew I danced? Surely he hasn't been spying on me. Maybe he went to one of my performances over the summer. I had started ballet at a muggle dancing school when I was 3. I have danced in about 3 performances a year since then. I loved dance. Whenever I dance, I feel like I could fly. I dance all my worries and troubles away. Dancing was the only thing I had left, my mom was gone, my dad was gone, and now Tasha was gone.

_**A/N So, did you like it? Please R&R.**_


	2. Happy Birthday To You

_**A/N: Thanks to my TWO wonderful reviewers. Just to clear things up- My story is really weird because it is shadowing my life, with a few changes and exaggerations. I know my story is not the best, but writing has a calming effect on me. I just decided to see what others thought by posting it.**_

**_PlumeriaGrl808- _**

_**Thanks! I tried to fix some punctuation, but I don't know if I got all of the corrections. I know that this chapter is not very long either, but it's longer than the other one and I will try to make the next one longer.**_

**_littlecreek86-_**

_**Thanks again for taking the time to review my story. And thank you for reminding me about the portrait. I know my story is not very good, and it could never be as good as yours. Your encouragement means a lot to me.**_

Last Time: _My head snapped up. How did he know I danced? Surely he hasn't been spying on me. Maybe he went to one of my performances over the summer. I had started ballet at a muggle dancing school when I was 3. I have danced in about 3 performances a year since then. I loved dance. Whenever I dance, I feel like I could fly. I dance all my worries and troubles away. Dancing was the only thing I had left, my mom was gone, my dad was gone, and now Tasha was gone._

POV-Sophie James

When Professor Dumbledore left, I sat in silence for a while. I wasn't really thinking about anything just sitting there. After a while, I fell into a fitful slumber. Madam Pomfrey had given me a dreamless sleep potion. But it seemed my feelings over took it. I didn't dream of Tasha, or my mom, or my dad. And yet I still dreamed.

_I was locked in a room, and there was no way out. It started to spin. The room began to dissolve into nothingness. I was falling down, down, down... _

I awoke the next day, feeling sick. I lay in bed and stared blankly at the ceiling. Then I realized, it was my birthday. I looked on my bedside table, and sure enough, there was a small pile of presents. A _pile_ of presents! Sure, it was small, but I had never gotten more than 3 presents a year. I took the top package and read the card attached to it.

_To my darling daughter: Happy 16th birthday._

Every year since my dad left for America, he would send a present. I tore open the wrapping to reveal a rectangular box with the words "_Coca-Cola Chess_" written across it. I smiled to myself. Ever since I was a little girl, my father would collect anything _Coca-Cola_. It was obviously not wizards chess, but I preferred the muggle way better. I decided to open the next package without reading the card. When I unwrapped it, I saw a box of _Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. _I looked at the card to see who sent me such an odd gift.

_To Ms. James- I hope my present will make your birthday a little more enjoyable. I must say, it made my day when I tried a bean and found that it was actually a toffee flavored one._ _I was so pleased, I tried another one. But alas, my luck ran out. I had eaten a vomit flavored bean. I do hope that you have a wonderful 16th birthday and try to look at the flask as half full instead of half empty._ _-Professor Dumbledore._

The next two packages were tied together. I untied them and took the top one. There was a note scribbled across the top.

_These were found among Tasha Alexander's possessions. _

The top package was really a very thick card. When I opened it, there was a picture of Tasha's mother, father, and little brother all singing happy birthday to me. The was also 2 Galleons included in the envelope. The bottom package was very untidily wrapped. I saw the writing on top of the package and my heart skipped a beat. I recognized that handwriting, it was Tasha's. I quickly piled everything back on top of my bedside table, burying her present. I was not ready to see her present yet. That left me with three presents still to open. I was tired, I would open them later. And with that thought I fell asleep, and this time the dreamless sleep potion worked.

I stayed in the Hospital Wing for what I thought was a week. I lost track of time after a while. I didn't know if it was day or night, and I didn't really care. I ate and slept. I tried not to think about the people I had lost. So I lay in my bed, void of all emotion. My 3 unopened presents still sat on my bedside table.

I had but one visitor, a girl in my year. We had talked before, but we weren't really friends. She brought me some of my assignments and she said she was sorry for my loss. I tried to smile at her, but it was like I had forgotten how to do it. I didn't expect any other visitors. No one tried to make friends with me, and I didn't bother with them. I have Tasha...had Tasha... I could feel the tears build up inside of me. I couldn't cry, I just couldn't. I knew if I started to cry, I wouldn't be able to stop. Somehow, miraculously, I managed to fight off the tears.

A few days later, Madam Pomfrey kicked me out of the Hospital Wing. She said it would be better for me to have some interaction with other students. I highly doubted that, but I didn't really have a choice. Besides, she was probably sick of me. Reluctantly, I went back to the Common Room.

When I entered, the room fell silent. How they all knew was beyond me, probably Professor Dumbledore. I didn't really care. I went straight up to my dormitory and fell onto my bed.

_It was the first day of term. I had just boarded the Hogwarts Express and had managed to find an empty compartment in the back of the train. I was in a very tearful mood. I had always been a kind of Mamma's Girl and I did not like the idea of leaving her for so long. I heard the compartment door open and I looked around. A girl stepped inside. She was wearing a blue dress, shiny black shoes, and a very defiant look on her face. She came and sat across from me and stuck out her hand. "Tasha Alexander," she said. I took her hand and said, "Sophie James, nice to meet you." She then began to tell me about how she couldn't wait to leave her "annoying little brother". I told her about how I didn't really want to leave.We were both very sympathetic towards each other.I knew we had just met, but from the way we could talk and joke with each other, it seemed like we had been best friends forever.She smiled at me and very slowly everything began to turn black and white.Her face began to fade away, and then I heard her scream._

I awoke with a start. I had almost completely forgotten about that day. Still, I refused to cry. I didn't know how long I could hold back tears.

The next day I attempted lessons. I only remember talking once. Professor McGonagall had asked me a question about vanishing spells. I had answered in a flat, toneless voice. My answer was vague, yet it earned 5 points towards Gryffindor.

None of the other teachers asked me anything. Perhaps they were taking pity on me, or maybe Professor Dumbledore told them to leave me alone. I figured the latter because Professor Snape didn't sneer at me once.

I went to lessons and ate. It was merely a shadow of me that walked where I should've been. I didn't know how long I could keep it up. I didn't remember a single thing from any of my lessons. Somehow, I managed to scrape a pass in my charms exam. But I didn't have anyone or anything left, so to me there seemed to be no reason to do well in lessons. I knew most people didn't take death this hard, but it felt like I had died with Tasha. She was more than a friend, she was more than family, she was more than a sister, she was my world. She was always there for me no matter what. We shared everything with each other. And now she was dead. I didn't even know how she died. I was too scared to ask.

**_A/N I know this chapter was completely pointless. And sorry "Tasha", your backstabbing part might come next chapter. Oh, if you read this chapter, please review._** -


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